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The vanisher

understand the Dismissive Avoidant pattern and stop disappearing from your own life

A practical 60-page guide that shows how this pattern formed, how it shows up in love, and the steps to change it, without shaming your nervous system.

Instant access
Mobile PDF 
Lifetime use 

Snapshot

Why closeness can feel like pressure, and how to create space that still signals connection

What flips your shutdown switch and how to catch the first cues in your body

Do-now practices to interrupt the exit reflex


Is this you?

You connect, then you retreat

You promise closeness, then slip away

When someone reaches for you, you feel trapped and need space

Every time you vanish, intimacy feels further out of reach


The Vanisher Guide shows you another way to feel free—without fleeing


What’s inside

Pattern map + nervous-system snapshot 

Early signs of shutdown + quick journal cues

Do-now practices

Somatic drills

Daily Self-Return Check-In + worksheets 

Blended patterns guide + integration


Outcomes you can expect

More choice when closeness rises (not just “bolt or comply”) 

Fewer silent stretches after conflict 

A way to keep independence and connection


FAQ
  • Do I need my partner to read this too?
    No. These guides are designed for you. As you shift how you show up, the dynamic naturally changes, whether or not your partner ever picks it up.
  • Is this therapy?
    No. It’s education + tools. Pair it with therapy for deeper work.
  • Will this feel overwhelming?
    No. Each guide is broken into clear sections with small, practical exercises. You can go at your own pace and return to it whenever you need.

Social proof

“I caught my shutdown earlier. The one breath practice and the Pause Ritual gave me a way back.” 

— [M.S., 34]


“This guide finally explained why I pull away. Understanding myself more deeply is the start of a new chapter.” 

— [J.L., 26]


“I didn’t think a PDF could make such a difference. The quick practices actually worked, I stayed present in a moment I would normally shut down.” 

— K.T., 29



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