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The spiral
A practical 60-page guide that shows how this pattern formed, how it shows up in love, and the steps to change it, without shaming your nervous system.
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Why your nervous system flips between craving closeness and fearing it
How protest and withdrawal feed the push–pull cycle
The survival roots of chaotic intimacy
Somatic practices to regulate intensity without shutting down
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You reach out desperately, then regret it and pull away
You want closeness, but panic when you feel too exposed
You say things in the heat of the moment you don’t fully mean
You’re exhausted from cycling between pursuit and retreat
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The Spiral Guide shows you how to step out of the chaos and find steady ground in love
Pattern map + nervous system snapshot
Early signs you’re about to flip from cling to retreat
Reflection prompts to track your protest and withdrawal triggers
Somatic drills to calm emotional overwhelm
Daily practices to anchor in stability when waves hit
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Less reactivity in moments of conflict
A calmer baseline, so you don’t feel like you’re always “too much”
Shorter recovery time after fights or triggering moments
More consistent intimacy that doesn’t swing between extremes
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- Do I need my partner to read this too?No. These guides are designed for you. As you shift how you show up, the dynamic naturally changes, whether or not your partner ever picks it up.
- Is this therapy?No. It’s education + tools. Pair it with therapy for deeper work.
- Will this feel overwhelming?No. Each guide is broken into clear sections with small, practical exercises. You can go at your own pace and return to it whenever you need.
“I didn’t realize how often I flipped between clinging and shutting down. This gave me a way to catch it sooner.”
— E.K., 30
“My fights don’t spiral out for days anymore. I feel steadier, and so does my partner.”
— V.S., 34
“For the first time, I know what to do when the panic rises. I don’t have to disappear or blow up.”
— H.R., 28
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